. . . let me abuse this pure, innocent flower by counting all the ways!
-You changed yourself before my very eyes. At first, you seemed so cool, so confidant, so knowing of who you are. But, by the middle of the story, you turned into an annoying prick: self-centered, whiny, and crying over every little damn thing.
- And did I also mention your arrogance? I mean, really! How many times do you have to stand in the mirror just to describe yourself? Do you think readers want to know about your emerald green eyes and titanium hair? Fair-skinned and beautiful or dark and mysterious, you took up four paragraphs simply talking about your sculpted chin depicting a strong personality.
- Let’s not even begin to describe the loftiness you have toward the other characters. You act like you know exactly what they are going to say/do before they do/say it. This head-hopping is very disconcerting to me as you realize, are familiar with, aware of, or all the other unnecessary phrases used to hurry the scene along into the part YOU want. If we are rushing through those scenes, do we need them in the story? Or are they just unnecessary filler to reach a certain word count?
- I don’t even want to think about the passiveness you show in the descriptive paragraphs. Sometimes I want to scream for you to get off your lazy duff and DO SOMETHING. I want to see some ACTION. Don’t tell me what’s going to happen with the other characters. Show me. Do something yourself. Hold my attention throughout the chapters.
- Finally, dear character, could you please tighten up those chapters? There are times where I’m totally confused on how you got from one spot to be in another. I feel like I fell through the biggest plot hole without a book map. Unless you are Houdini, Merlin, or H. G. Wells with a time machine, there’s no comprehensible way you could go from point A with battling pirates to point B as you play in the orchestra to point C where you are kissing the fair damsel saved from the alien mothership without having a rational plotline.
Hm . . . it seems I ran out of petals, and I had so many other things to say about you. Oh well, perhaps other people have a thing to say about some of their not-so-likable characters. Pick a flower, and unleash that pent-up frustration. Is it the dialogue? Is it the plot? Or is it the character’s unpredictable personality?